Day 21: Delay and Distract

This is the point at which a lot of us start feeling bored and boredom is one of the main reasons many of us abandon our Dryuary commitment. We don’t really know what to do with ourselves when we’re not drinking in the long run and at this point we’re tired of thinking up new way to entertain ourselves.

MM Member M R shares his unique view of the Delay and Distract strategy below.

Holy smokes, I just realized it’s been five years since I wrote my first Dryuary post!  I went back and read some of my previous ones and the term “indefinite abstinence” immediately stood out on the page. That was my plan in some of those early days years ago when I stopped drinking: I discovered that I didn’t have a concrete plan, other than to not drink at the time and figure it out from there.  I was in unchartered territory and it was a scary idea at first.  But what I did have to work with were a couple basic principles, like “I know I don’t want to drink for right now” and “I want to see how long I can go on an abs (abstinence) streak, then see where it takes me.”  Heck, from time to time that is still my plan these days.  

For some of us, we might not be sure how much time we’d like to take off from alcohol.  That’s perfectly okay, maybe even normal, especially this time of the year.  Through attending many Moderation Management meetings over the years and the countless kind words of MMers, I discovered that it’s good for me to focus much of my energy on navigating each day or each week, taking things one at a time.

As I read my previous posts, I am reminded that the daily struggle remains real.  There are still those days where an internal voice suddenly speaks up and asks me “how about a drink?”  In response, I am continuously grateful I have learned how to react to that question, whether I’m taking an abs day or doing a longer abs streak.  

In response, the tactics that seem to work the best for me are to “delay and distract.”  I’m constantly reminded that alcohol is intertwined in our society and that a drink will always be around – and I have the power to decide if I want it or not.  Since alcohol remains prevalent, there’s no need for me to drink like it’s going out of style.  I have the power to choose not to drink today, and I will be thankful of that choice when I wake up tomorrow.  

As a bonus, by passing on the drink (delaying), I now have the benefit of being able to get to the part where I get to distract myself.  I am mentally and physically free from the impairment alcohol provides and I have earned myself some free time back.  What I choose to do with that time is up to me.  Countless websites, books and articles can provide great suggestions of productive and rewarding things I can do to enjoy that time.

I also find that my interpersonal relationships improve when I’m not drinking.  Abstaining allows me the time and mental capacity to have more deep and meaningful conversations with others.  If there’s something I’ve put off dealing with, I know that it’s time to quit stalling and get busy!  Some tasks may not be the most pleasant (chores, cleaning, house repair, etc.) but when I make some progress, the sense of accomplishment in the end is worth it.

So commend yourself on joining us for Dryuary and taking positive steps in a new direction.  If you have a bad day or something does not go as planned, we understand and we’ll be here for you.  This is a judgement-free zone, where everyone is welcome and no amount of progress is too small.  We’ll help you celebrate your progress and provide encouragement on your journey.

Welcome to Dryuary!    – M R