Day 28: Persevering In Discovery

“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
– Mary Anne Radmacher

I was asked to write a Dryuary post, and I have been wrestling with it… what to write? What do I have to say that anyone would want to read? Or that might be helpful to someone? I rarely feel like I have any special wisdom about anything, so what can I contribute to Dryuary? Well, I will try to get a few coherent thoughts together now, forgive me if it’s a bit rambly.

I discovered MM in mid-January 2010, so I didn’t join Dryuary that year (although I did my first 30 starting Jan. 29 and going through February). Since then, though, I’ve participated in Dryuary every year. I think it’s a nice reset to begin the year. I have often found moderation to be a challenge but I haven’t given up. I have had periods where I just stepped away from keeping track, as evidenced by blank stretches on my Abstar, but in the last few months I have been doing pretty well. My hope and plan is to continue doing well and to use alcohol moderately.

Like many people, I do find the ‘witching hour’ to be a challenge some days… It’s become a habit, just something that my brain pops out at that time of day, ‘Hey, a glass of wine would be nice right now!’ I can have a glass of juice, or some herbal tea, and soon the urge disappears. These days I find when I’m doing an abs period, I think about it much less, to the point that I will realize, ‘Oh yeah, I should update my Abstar.’ My goal is to be an occasional drinker, and to stay by the book when I do drink. (For those who may not be familiar with it, that means no more than three drinks a day, and no more than nine in a week, for me as a female.) I will say that alcohol has much less of a hold on me than it did when I first found MM. Although I still (stubbornly, perhaps) resist the idea of permanent abstinence, at this point I am able to realize that I could go that route. And that it wouldn’t be particularly difficult much of the time. I guess the idea of it doesn’t seem so scary anymore. Well, let’s face it- at one time the idea of permanent abstinence seemed like a complete impossibility! I know there are those of you out there who can identify with that idea.

These days I am thinking about who I want to be… do I want to be that person who has a drink, or two, or three, every night? No. Do I want to be the person who can’t remember the previous night? No. Do I want to be the belligerent drunk who gets into stupid arguments over completely stupid things? Hell no! I want to be the person who doesn’t drink most nights. I want to remember the previous evening. I want to wake up with a clear head, feeling rested, without so much as a slight headache from the night before. I want to start my days not feeling like I can’t get out of my own way, lol. I feel like these are realistic goals for me, goals that MM has played a large part in making attainable for me. It has been a long haul, but it certainly is worth it!

Post Submitted By: C. Crowley, MM Member
 
For those of you who are also contemplating what the rest of the year will bring and would like to persevere in discovering more of your life through moderation, MM is hosting a private Moderation Month Facebook Group starting February 1, 2020. Throughout the month of February we’ll be posting daily in the private MM Moderation Month Facebook group to support your moderation efforts in whatever form that takes for you, and we’ll be sharing tools and techniques to get you started or keep you going. We encourage lots of discussion about where you are and where you want to be, and look forward to celebrating successes and smoothing out any bumps along the way. This group will be active for only the month of February, after that participants are free to join the MM Forum (Secret Name- Dryuary), MMListserv, permanent MM Facebook Group or to continue their moderation journey on their own. If you would like to continue your discovery of abstinence a while longer, we invite you to join our MMAbsers group, you are welcome there whether you’re interested in abstaining for a month, for a year, or forever.

“Remember, moderation is the avoidance of extremes, and management is the art of self control”.
We’re here to help you develop both of those powerful skills to achieve balance and overcome challenges.