Day 31: Photographs and Memories

Remember, you don’t have to wait until January 1, 2020 to take a break from alcohol. You can do it anytime for however long you want. To help you recall the lessons and experiences here, MM has compiled all of these wonderful posts from our Dryuary 2019 contributors into the Dryuary 2019 Collection available in a kindle book on Amazon. (paperback in the very near future.) Proceeds from sales of the book will go to support Moderation Management and future Dryuary campaigns.

Also, don’t forget, if you need a crowd to back you up and cheer you on, you’ll find one over on the MM Forum or the MMListserv. Drop us a line or stop in anytime. We can’t wait to see you!

If you blew it, don’t reject it
Just sit, drawing up the plans and re-erect it

– Weezer

Close your eyes and in your mind, pick up that camera. Take a picture of you, right now. Don’t get up to comb your hair or to make sure there aren’t any pepper flakes stuck between your teeth.


Do you still have that photograph from Dryuary Day 1?  Take it out. Let’s compare.

When I did this exercise early in my sobriety, I envisioned who I wanted to be in five years. Slim, tan, sitting in a sun-drenched courtyard in my gauzy skirt and toe ring, writing the follow-up to my bestselling novel. After a month of not drinking, I still used this “photo” as my Promise Land, the place I wanted to end up.

The photo of me today, seven years later?

Shorts with dirt stains on the ass and dirt embedded under the nails of those ringless toes from grubbing in the garden. No best seller on the shelf, but a self-published book that’s touched a few people’s lives and a novel that is being rejected by woefully visionless agents on a daily basis. Slim? Bwahahahaha!

But, you know what?  I’m okay with that picture of me. No, I’m better than okay. I like me.  That’s the picture of me that I wanted more than anything when I started this journey, I just didn’t know it. I couldn’t picture that from where I was standing when I started, I couldn’t even envision what that would look like. To just like myself. Was that too much to ask?


That gauzy skirted vision of myself will never be obtained, it is no longer my Promise Land, but it served its purpose. It got me unstuck. It got me started on the path to becoming someone else which led me to becoming myself. I’m not perfect but I’m okay with that. I’m not everything I want to be either-yet.

We hope you stuck with us through this whole Dryuary journey, even if you realized it was not going to yield the results you hoped for, we hope it brought you instead a little closer to who you are.

The rest of the year awaits you and I’m sure you’re already drawing up a vision of what you hope it will look like but, before you go, I want you to take one more photo from Dryuary to take with you as a keepsake. In your mind, conjure up your favorite memory from this month, put in every smell, feel, sight, sound, the way you think you looked and felt in this memory.


We hope you share it with us in the comments below or over on the Dryuary Forum .

Post Submitted By: Mary Reid aka Kary May Hickey
Mary Reid is the Program Director of Moderation Management and the author of Neighbor Kary May’s Handbook To Happily Drinking Less or Not Drinking At All,
Quite Happily: With the help of online recovery community

3 thoughts on “Day 31: Photographs and Memories

  1. Rauzo

    Thank you Kary May Hickey and the entire Dryuary Crew and Team. I like me this morning and cant wait to continue on the Journey with you all!

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