“If you do not pour water on your plant, what will happen? It will slowly wither and die. Our habits will also slowly wither and die away if we do not give them an opportunity to manifest. You need not fight to stop a habit. Just don’t give it an opportunity to repeat itself.”
– Sri S. Satchidananda, The Yoga Sutras
What?!! One of the reasons, I joined this crazy Dryuary thing was to save my marriage, what do you mean I’m divorced?”
Calm down, Karen, unless that knock on your door is someone serving you with divorce papers, your marriage is fine. I’m talking about the Reno, Nevada-style divorce you decreed between your routines and drinking on January 1, 2020.
Remember way back before January 1 when you believed there were certain things you did on a daily or weekly basis that you couldn’t do without drinking? Remember when you thought you couldn’t get through a Friday and/or Saturday night without a few too many shots? What about pizza without beer? Cooking Italian without wine? Walking in the door from work without the trip to visit your beer in the fridge? Oh, let us count the ways in which alcohol has insinuated itself into our routines.
In one fell swoop on January 1, you divorced, or un-paired, all your routines from alcohol and in doing so, you found out that you can accomplish all of those things, maybe even enjoy them, without it.
Now, take a minute or two in your mind to separate the times you drink out of emotion or because an event calls for it from the times you drink just because it has become part of a routine. What percentage of your drinking is routine?
What if you kept your routines divorced from alcohol the rest of the year, what affect would that have on your life?
Ok, so maybe you didn’t want to permanently divorce all of your routines from your drinking, maybe you just wanted a trial separation for some of them. Like a spouse who embarrassed you, spent too much of your money and made you do irrational things sometimes, when you finally got them out of your life, you started missing them and remembering the good times. It’s tempting to let them back in. Maybe you can be friends. Maybe this time you’ll get it right.
But, now you know you can get through every day without that capricious spouse-alcohol. Now, you can decide how big a part it’s going to play in your life. Now, you can decide which routines are going to stay divorced from it.
Sure, you still want to go out with your friends and have two or three drinks on Friday night, but what if you divorce yourself from the “pre-gaming” and wait until you’re at the restaurant or bar before you start drinking?
Instead of heading right to the fridge for that beer after work, what if you grabbed an energy drink to revive you from the drain of the workday instead?
Does Hamburger Helper really deserve Cab Sav? What if you saved the wine for special meals only?
You get it. And, now, you’re in charge.
Want to make it more difficult for alcohol to sneak in the door and start cozying up to your routines in the future?
Marry, or pair, your routines with habits that are good for you, habits that make you feel good about yourself, habits you’re proud to claim as your own.
May you live happily ever after Dryuary!
Post Submitted by: Happily Divorced