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Day 15 – There Are People Who You Only See At Funerals

Inspirational Song of the Day: Louis Armstrong – What A Wonderful World

A few years ago, my mother passed away. She had been addicted to prescription painkillers, also ingested a lot of Tylenol, and at 67, her liver quit. My mother was a gregarious, fun, brilliant, complicated, and well-loved woman, and people from all the decades of her life attended her wake, funeral, and the meal at our home thereafter. I saw people that day who I hadn’t seen in a few years, people who I’d never met, and people who remembered me from my toddler years.

A few days ago, I attended the wake and funeral of a man who was the son of my parents’ best friends. He was addicted to drugs for many years and accidentally overdosed on Thanksgiving. His parents are bereft. I hadn’t seen him since I was a teenager. I see his parents maybe once each year. But more than two years after my mother passed, I saw many of the same “funeral people” – those folks I only see at funerals. People turn out to pay their respects. It’s a lovely aspect of human nature. It’s a terrible way to meet up with people.

At various times in my life, I have been addicted to alcohol. And addiction to alcohol can lead to a litany of problems, and that litany can lead to death in a variety of ways.

I don’t want my family to meet my “funeral people” any sooner than they need to.

Let’s find other reasons to meet those funeral people now. They can be wedding people! Bar mitzvah people! That friend of my parents who I always happen to see at the DMV people! Baptism people! Grocery shopping people!

And so I resolve to battle my addiction to alcohol with every weapon I have. And I resolve that, upon request, I will be a weapon for others battling their addictions. You’re my Dryuary people & MM people; let’s keep each other company for the long haul.

Submitted by MM Member Micro


One thought on “Day 15 – There Are People Who You Only See At Funerals

  1. Kary May Hickey Post author

    By my late 40’s I started seeing obituaries for friends and acquaintances who had died as a result of drinking. More often, as a nurse I started seeing the long term effects of drinking in myself and the people I hung around with. It was scary. It was as if we were trying to convince ourselves that we weren’t getting older and drinking was the only way to do it. But the bounce back was taking longer and longer. I had several women friends between 47 and 50 who died unexpectedly and I started thinking, “I’m sure they thought they still had years left.”

    I made a vow, either get my drinking under control by the time I was 50, or quit. I ended up quitting and within a month felt better than I had since my mid-30’s.

    I salute those who are in their 20’s and 30’s that recognize that they need a break from drinking or to slow down, but I really think if you’re 40 and upwards, you need more than a month to undo the decades of damage that is starting to show. A month is a great start, but our bodies aren’t going to erase the damage done in that short of time. Now is the time to start living the second half of your life instead of hanging on to the first half.

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