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Day 12 – Your Inner Negotiator

“Be mindful of your self-talk. It is a conversation with the universe. You are a being, full of infinite possibilities! Focus your mind with positivity and you will have dictated the direction of your journey, your soul and your being, cascading in infinite abundance.”
– Angie Karan

You have many people supporting you during January, especially your Dryuary colleagues. But, there’s something evil out there that will never be on your side. It’s your Inner Negotiator (IN). Your IN sits in waiting, ready to pounce every time you make a step forward. He/she will say things to you like “you’ve made it a week, you’ve shown you can do it, no need to do this.” Or “what a stressful day you’ve had, you can take this one day off and pick up tomorrow.” Or “31 is just a number, you can set your own terms.”

The voice sounds friendly, but your IN is an expert at manipulating you however and whenever possible. How do you counter that evil voice?

1) Acknowledge his/her presence. Everyone has an IN, it’s not restricted to drinking. Your IN will also attempt to sabotage your dieting, workout schedule, future plans, you name it. Accepting that this evil being is there is the first step.

2) Call your IN out. Say “I know you’re there, and whatever you might say, I know you’re not looking out for my best interests.” “I see you, and you’re not fooling me no matter what you say.” Even better, write it out.

3) Counter your IN’s statements with healthy ones. “Yes I could take a day off, but how is that going to benefit me?” “Sure, I had a bad day, but that’s life and you’re not going to use it to your advantage.” “I suppose I could set my own terms during Dryuary, but that’s you doing your thing, not me.”

Your IN is crafty, and will always be there. But we get to choose our own power, not give it away to anyone else.

Submitted by MM Member Jimmer

3 thoughts on “Day 12 – Your Inner Negotiator

  1. Roberta

    Last night I drank wine. I am doing Dryuary but I decided to take a day off. I’m moving back to Europe tomorrow and I had been given a bottle of wine as a going away gift, which I wasn’t going to pack in my suitcase, didn’t think it would be any good in August when I come back for a month (it’s a bottle from 2014) and I rationalized that we needed to celebrate, me and the folks I’ve been staying with for a month while I’m homeless here in CA. We drank my bottle, and they got out another one. They are not big drinkers. So we drank 10 glasses of wine between the three of us, 3 or 4 each, I’m pretty sure I was the one who had 4. I did all the behaviors of a binge drinker in recovery, pouring myself a little more when they stepped out of the room, looking forlornly at the bottle as it reached empty, not switching to water when they did and wanting more when it was all gone. We had dinner with the wine but 4 glasses of wine hit me like a binge used to all the same. Current tolerance level noted. I felt terrible during the night, waking up frequently dehydrated, I had a low grade hang over all day, and I felt like it was not worth any of it, slipping during Dryuary, not drinking by the book, incurring a bad headache, and not sleeping well. The desire to drink is surely but slowing shifting in me. A limit of 2 or 3 is the right amount for me. I never would have said that 2 years ago, after being one year in MM. Now I actually believe this from personal experience. I’m getting back onto Horse, my steady Dryuary steed. No more inner negotiator telling me to drink because of this good reason or that good reason. I’m getting on an international flight in a few hours where they give you free wine, NOT having any (*free* is the best reason I can think of to drink, says Inner Negotiator, ‘not today it isn’t’ says strong me in charge) and a reunion with my Italian love (let’s toast to us, says IN, ‘not with Italian wine’ says strong sure Dryuary participant Roberta.

  2. Rabbit

    Good job Roberta! Way to bounce back.

    Yes, my IN is pretty crafty as well. I re-started Dryuary on January 7 after a slip on January 6. Holding steady.

    Stay strong everyone!

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